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An Elusive Candidate [RON] Writes...

Before the 2009 AGM, the President received the following unexpected email:

Dear Sir,

I am writing to give my utmost apologies to you and the Cambridge University Hillwalking Club, as I now find myself unable to attend this year's Annual General Meeting. For many years now I have been unfortunate enough to be otherwise occupied on the day, and was most disappointed to find that I am once again busy this year. My enthusiasm for joining the committee is still boundless, and once again I have been nominated for every committee position. Although I know my absence is a major part in not ever gaining a post, I wish to try a little harder this year by submitting the following speeches. If you could find someone to read them out in an appropriate style, I would be most grateful.

President:
I beg you to vote for me, I've been in the club for ages, look at Dave: a young undergraduate, hardly been to the lakes, and Scottish - we really can't have that. Pity Kate wasn't allowed to stand - that would give me some real competition.

Meets Secretary:
I don't know why I still stand for this, I never get it and there's always someone better than me for the position, I hardly know any drivers, they come and go too quickly for me to keep track. Apart from Toby, everyone knows him.

Junior Treasurer:
Have you ever heard of me getting accounts wrong? I really good at counting: there's around 3 or 4 people standing against me, but I'm definitely the one for the job. I'll allow "Membership Services" all year round.

Social Secretary:
I afraid I'm not that social, I never really speak to that many people, but that's why I want the job - a great chance to meet everyone.

Safety Officer:
I love lugging those huge boxes around and buying excessive amounts of milk. And I've never had an accident on the hill. But maybe that's because I hardly get out these days. Is Tweed still the best jacket to wear?

Membership Secretary:
I've never really understood email, but I'm really keen to learn, not that I have that much time on my hands - there's always another committee I have to stand for...

In addition, could I ask you to vote on my behalf as follows,

President - Dave
Meets Secretary - Joe
Junior Treasurer - Caroline
Social Secretary - Bethan
Safety Officer - Bethan (can I vote for one person twice? I just like the name)
Membership Secretary - Tim

Yours,

Re-Open Nominations
RON