The CUHWC Lexicon

Here is the official definition of hillwalking and scrambling terms, to translate the often confusing and incomprehensible waffle that flows from the mouths of the hillwalkers. Otherwise known as "bullshit"...

"It's hard work, this"

This is absolutely knackering.

"I haven't been hillwalking/scrambling for a while"

This is more knackering/frightening than I remember. Should have stayed at home.

"I've found a stream to fill up my water bottle"

I've fallen into the stream/river/tarn.

"This scramble is a bit damp"

There is a small waterfall flowing down the scramble; all the handholds are wet and it's scary.

"It's a bit damp"

It's chucking it down with rain and I'm absolutely soaked.

"This route is a bit interesting"

This is very scary and I'm very scared.

"I want my mum"

Actually, I don't want my mum, because she would be

1. more frightened than I am,
2. more stuck, and
3. fuming that I was doing this anyway. But I do want some help, sympathy and advice.

"I want a double whisky"

I am scared; I want something to calm my nerves. When does the scary bit end?

"Strenuously uphill"

I need an hour's sleep at the top.

"My feet hurt"

I have huge blisters all over my feet, and my heels are glowing so red that they could supply the National Grid for a week.

"What a good view!"

The mist has suddenly cleared; we can see where we are - and there's a huge drop in front of us.

Last modified: Wednesday, 25 April 2007, at 19:59 (BST)