Observations of a Faffologist
- Breakfast Faff
- Time spent arguing about who's cooking what for breakfast, instead of preparing for the day's
trip.
- Car Faff
- Time spent moving cars or people around which seems sensible and necessary, but leaves you
wondering if there wasn't an easier way to do it.
- Initial Faff
- The time for everyone to put on various boots, gaiters, waterproofs, fleeces, etc. after arriving
at the start point.
- First Faff
- Corollary to 'Initial Faff' where everybody walks a short distance then decided they are
too cold/hot/wet/dry and reverses all the decisions made 15 minutes previously. See picture.
- Photo Faff
- A relay race of people with camera taking multiple similar group or scenery photographs, much to
everyone else's annoyance.
- Lunch Faff
- Another faff takes sufficiently long that the others waiting decide to eat their lunch.
- Lunch Faff 2
- If people don't finish, this can occur twice.
- Map Faff
- One or more group members stop to play with maps and compasses, whilst everyone else repeatedly
asks 'are we lost?'
- Rope Faff
- Unpacking your new rope from the backpack and offering to belay/haul/lift/abseil people up or
down even the most trivial rock faces or outcrops.
- Microfaff
- A short term faff which can be completed without stopping the group - e.g. gloves.
- Turbofaff
- An advanced microfaff which is performed without even stopping yourself.
- Uberfaff
- A prolonged rest for all manner of gear adjustments, food, tea, etc..
- Chain Faff
- Where several people decide to faff one after another, causing gratuitous delay.
- Terminal Faff
- A faff which lasts so long the group decides to head to the nearest pub or tea room instead of
completing the route. Common after prolonged life-endangering scrambles.
- Fatal Faff
- Poorly timed faffing which results in death through falling or exposure.
- Cluster Faff
- A faff for all the family, where everyone finds something to do.
- Chronicler's Faff
- Hours spent writing more illegible [somethings] in the trip book.
Rob McQueen
Last modified:
Wednesday, 25 April 2007, at 19:32 (BST)